It has been a long time since I’ve written. I know. But here are some of my student’s essays. Finally

I’m now back in the US of A and back in Chicago. The basic sequence of my life since China is this: I returned in July 2008; spent the summer mostly jobless in Michigan whilst living in my parents’ basement; got hitched in Zihuatanejo, Mexico; spent two weeks living in my husband’s boyhood room at my in laws’ house looking for a place to live; got married for real in a courthouse; got an apartment in Chicago; got a job at Trader Joe’s grocery store; got fired from Trader Joe’s; spent two unemployed weeks white knuckled, though wrote product descriptions of manufacturing goods for friend of friend; fantasized about getting a Link card; got hired at a university by some miracle; husband a substitute teacher, which is code for still unemployed. But looking. And trying hard. The economy has hit us both in the face with a Made in China baseball bat!

The essays I will post below were written by my students in China. I loved my students in China. I miss my students in China.

You might recall from here ,here here here and here that I was fighting with a Yahoo.com sports writer, jerk-o superem-o Dan Wetzel. He lambasted, with ignorant panache, even by American, loud mouthed sports media standards, the decision to hold the Olympics there. I had my class respond to his column, and I sent him ALL of their letters.  Why is this still relevant? Well, I’m still bitter that he PROMISED to write my class back, and didn’t! They’re crushed!

Also, I’m curious to contact my class again and see how life has changed since the Olympics. Do they still agree with what they wrote? Were the Olympics good for China? Or was it an economic vaccuum, like one student ominously warned. To me, it’s relevant because my city want s the Olympics. Or more accurately, our corrupt, often grumpy and pompous lifelong politico svengali, Mayor Richard M. Daley, a man obsessed with his legacy, wants the 2016 Olympics in Chicago. On one hand it’s exciting. On the other hand, I’m sure the usual schemers are licking their chops at rife opportunities for kickbacks, pay-to-play, and various other back door dealings that are this city’s MO. That rant is done. For now!

On to the essays!

Dear Mr. Wetzel,

My name is Yummy, and I am a Chinese citizen and student in Qinhuangdao, where Olympic soccer will be held. I recently read your column from Yahoo sports, “Fanning the Flame of Controversy.” I would like to respond to some of your points.

You said that “In less draconian concerns, pollution is said to be horrific, the food untrustworthy, and just recently, the Chinese began installing that cutting-edge technology known as the “sit toilet” at some venues after discovering that the rest of the world isn’t too keen on squatting over a hole in the ground to do their business.”

I am afraid you have some facts wrong; what you see is only on the surface. You know little about China and give those arguments. In my opinion, you are a little bit picky about China.

I can’t deny that there is pollution or other shortcomings in China. But can you proise in other countries, including your country, there is no pollution at all? Obviously you can’t, because pollution exists everywhere. In this situation, how can you judge China like that? Furthermore, have you ever paid attention on why China is so polluted?

If you have cared about it, you would have found that your country is one of the polluters. In order to get more profit from business, reduce the pollution in your country, you invest to build lots of industries in China. That is the truth; you buy products made here, and you, therefore, are an indirrect polluter. Don’t try to escape the responsibility.

I really can’t receive the way you made fun of China for installing the “sit toilet.” The way Chinese “do their business” is a habit, and you are not entitled to complain or criticize it. Because you use a knife and a fork for dinner, but we Chinese use chopsticks, you can’t say that is wrong and all Chinese should use knife and fork. That’s unimaginable. Anyhow, you should recognize that the main purpose we installed the “sit toilet” is because China is a hospitable nation, one that can’t bear our visitors to suffer any discomfort. Considering the visitors’ habits is the main reason why we installed the “sit toilet.” Otherwise we should not pay so many in this project; especially since our country is not a developed country.

So when you give some argument about China, please stand in Chinese shoes and think more about it. You will find that China is not as bad as you think. Even if China is still a developing country now, and there are still a lot of shortcomings, you can also see that we are trying our best to improve the situation, especially for the Olympic Games. It will prove the great powerful Chinese to the whole world,

Yours,

Yummy

Hello from Qinhuangdao

I have suddenly found myself quite busy. Classes are in full swing, and I picked up a few extra: a night class that meets twice a week, and a class of Korean ladies who want to learn English twice a week. I have a lot of fun with the ladies. Their English is really basic, so we do a lot of acting out of dialogues, which they find highly entertaining. And I act out words they don’t understand, during which time they are practically rolling on the floor. Ah, to entertain so easily.

In other news, my writin’ pals and I are coming out with our third issue of Spry (www.sprymag.com). It’s been tough to keep updating the site. Editor-in-chief Lauren is finishing grad school and working full time. But no matter. As we’re winos, our site is sure to age like wine. That is, it will only get better.

In wedding news, I’m going to Beijing for a second time to look into getting a wedding dress made. Hopefully, this will actually result in a dress. Hopefully, it will turn out like the pictures I’m bringing with me. (Vera Wang knock-off, anyone?) It’s hard to know what to do here, as a lot of the good information is on the Web, but in Chinese. I’m going to have it made at Yashow market, which is a place a lot of foreigners go for gifts, clothes, and shoes and assorted tchotchkes and fakes. The fourth floor is full of tailor shops. The shop I picked has bolts anad bolts of silk to choose from, and I like being able to pick the fabric. Plus, the worker there speaks English. The ready-made Chinese-style western wedding dresses I’ve seen are a bit, shall we say…much? Like cupcakes topped with glitter and lace. Blegh!

Also…I will be sending an e-mail shortly to those who are considering coming with us to Mexico with info on places to stay. I don’t have my save the date cards done. I am a bad wedding planner so far. Sorry…I’ll get on it!

Meanwhile, I did a really interesting activity in a few classes called “create a country.” The activity alleges that the students’ country randomly gives away a chunk of land for 20,000 folks (stress imagination). Then, the students have to create a government and laws for the new piece of imaginary land. Interestingly, about ¾ of my students picked socialism, and ¼ democracy for this “new” country. One group (students in a class of 35 were in groups of two to four students each) also picked communism and one, anarchy. Then, ¼ of students thought there should be censorship (especially on violent and pornographic material) and ¾ thought there should be none. The death penalty was about half and half. One group thought it better to cane people for their wrong doings ala Singapore, whilst another preferred lifelong work sentences. No guns in the new country. Environmental laws would be very, very strict. Interesting, indeed!

Inspire me, notebook

For some reason, some of the most entertaining Chinese-tinged English includes the decorative text found on the covers of my students’ notebooks. Notebook companies feature lots of “inspiring” messages like these on the covers of their products:
“Wish wing.”
“To touch my dream I walk this city. The dream not on the cloud, but living on this routine life.”
“Ten men banded together in love can do what ten thousand separately would fail in.”
“If you the pass with a gale of spring wind.”
“Some little and insipid things in our daily life give us the big and amazing happiness!”
“Wherever you go my best wishes will trace steps…”
“So I’m happy in everyday. I’m very happy go lucky. We all are good friends. Let’s go out have a nice trip. Good luck for you the PoPo monkey. Happy.”
“Wish you a sparkling new year and bright.”
On one notebook there was a picture of a piece of cake with a thought bubble: “It introduces my friend! My friend is pure and bright.”

Other messages are to aimed at glorifying the particular brand of notebook:
“The best quality and design is just for you. You will feel like writing with it all the time. This is the most comfortable notebook you have ever run into.”

Blogger M.I.A., back.

I know I haven’t posted with any regularity as of late. The gov’t doesn’t exactly make it easy. No matter. I set a new goal for myself of 500 to 1,000 words a day of something…anything…to stow away for later possible use. None of that was for the blog, just for me to keep track of my experiences here in China so I don’t forget. Yesterday I strung all of my writing together and found I had 20,000 words, which is about 80 pages of…something. Something that will need to be re-written a good 10 times before it is at all interesting, most likely!

Maybe I’ll have something cohesive to say one of these days. So I googled “how to sell a travel memoir” and I came up with an interesting and yet very discouraging article which I will post below.

Getting a travel memoir published: Advice from the author

ABOUT WENDY DALE

Wendy Dale is the author of Avoiding Prison and Other Noble Vacation Goals: Adventures in Love and Danger, published by Three Rivers (Random House) in May 2003. She is also the co-writer of the Emmy nominated television feature, The New Adventures of Mother Goose. Her book has been reviewed in USA Today, Outside Magazine, Bookpage, Time Out New York and Playgirl. For more information, visit her Web site at http:/

/www.wendydale.com.SOME INTRODUCTORY WORDSLike many people, I dreamed of seeing my travels in print. However, the road to getting a publishing contract was paved with more more obstacles than I encountered in my travels.In this site, I’m going to try and provide some of the lessons I learned during my seven-year odyssey, which began when I set my first word down on paper and ended when I walked into Barnes & Noble and saw my books on the shelves.

I know nothing about self-publishing. This is a site designed for writers who want to get a book published the conventional (and more difficult) route. Also, I don’t know much about publishing abroad, so I’ll focus on the experience as it relates to the United States.

When it comes to general tips on writing query letters and submitting to agents, I’ll try and provide some links, but I personally won’t rehash all this information since it’s easy to find in so many places on the Web. I’ll try to stick to lessons that I have learned — in short, this will be the Web site I wish I’d had when I first started writing about my travels.

I’ve just started this Website, so please be patient with me as I add information. In the meantime, if you’d like to visit my book Website, go to www.wendydale.com.

Also, if you know of a publisher or agent who’s receptive to travel essays or travelogues, drop me an e-mail at wendy@wendydale.com so I can add that name to my list.

Happy travels!

Avoiding writing about your travels at all costs

Yes, I know I said I would dedicate this site to explaining HOW to publish your travel writing, but think twice before you actually do it. Really. The competition is fiece. But more so than that, armchair travel is a dismal-selling genre. Most mainstream publishers won’t even look at manuscripts in this category because they consider your work to be unmarketable — it doesn’t matter how good it is.

Keep in mind that this is coming from a published author. I got a contract from Random House. So success is not impossible. It’s just very hard and if you’re going to go for it, you need to know exactly what you’re up against.

First, I’m going to give you a reality check about the tough world of book publishing. After after you know the bad news, I’ll try and give you some tips for getting around it. Here goes:

1) Consider another genre. What is more important to you — being a writer or a traveler? If being a writer is at the top of your list, consider publishing in a different category. If you’ve led an adventurous, international life, think about writing a memoir instead of a travel narrative. Memoir sells a lot better than travel essays, which means editors are much happier to actually take a look at your manuscript. Had I known this when I first started out, frankly I would have written a memoir. (I’m at work on that now actually.)

2) Consider becoming famous. If your name is Brittany Spears or JLo, it doesn’t matter if your travel story is about a trip to the grocery store. Your story will sell. And an editor will buy it. These days, publishing has become a business. An editor may love your style and story but that editor has to convince the marketing and publicity departments that your story is marketable and just saying the words “travel narrative” can be the kiss of death. Do you have credits to your name? Do you regularly write for magazines? Do you have a radio show? Do you have a Web site that receives a good number of hits? Any of these things can greatly increase your chances of getting a book contract because you already have a built-in audience. (Personally, I didn’t have any of these things when I started, though it would have made my life a lot easier if I had.) Consider writing for magazines or even your local paper first — it builds your reputation and can also augment your income.

3) Give yourself a realistic timeframe. Publishing is a very slow process. For me, finding an agent took nearly a year (and lots of rejection letters). After signing with her, I rewrote for nearly a year. And after getting an offer from Crown, it was another year and a half until the book actually hit bookstores. That’s three-and-a-half years, not counting the time it took to travel and put together a first draft of my book.

Still not scared off? Some tips on travel writing

I’m not going to cover any basics here. I’m going to tell you what your story has to contain so that the marketing department of your publisher can successfully promote your book. But what does marketing have to do with my travels, you ask? Everything, I’m afraid. Brace yourself!

(1) Your book has to be about something. It’s not enough to say that you’ve written a book about your travels that’s extremely funny, for instance. You have to be able to describe your book as “a journey to the world’s least likely vacation spots” or “a trip by land through Africa” or “a year in Amsterdam,” etc. There has to be a thread uniting your travels. This is so that the marketing department at your publishing house has a way to describe your book. “A very funny book about traveling” doesn’t cut it. What do the places you visited have in common? Is it a journey through British Commonwealth nations? Is it a journey to all the countries where you had free places to stay? Is it trips to countries with the best beer?

Tony Hawks (whom I’ve never actually read) is great at this. I know he has one book about traveling through Ireland with a fridge. Jeff Greenwald wrote a book (also haven’t read it) about shopping for Buddas in Asia. All his trips had this goal in mind. So, your task is to think about how to describe your book in one especially intriguing phrase.

(2) The opening of your book is critical and it has to explain what made you embark on your journeys. Explaining the reason why you decided to travel is important for two reasons: firstly, we have to know a little bit about you in order to even care what happens to you later. And secondly, there needs to be a motive for your travels, at least if you’re dealing with an American publisher. Loving to travel isn’t enough.

Many of the rejections I got (keep in mind that at this point, my book was being submitted by a reputable agent) were because of this very factor. One editor said “if only she had traveled because of a failed relationship or if she were in search of some physical object.” Publishers need a way to sum up who you are neatly in one short blurb on the back cover. If you were disillusioned with corporate life in London, this would be your motive. If you have one scene that show exactly at what point you got fed up, this would make a wonderful beginning — telling your boss off and grabbing a plane to Spain the next day or something like that.

This was something that I struggled with a lot in my book. Reality is always much more complicated that literature – in a book, you have to sum up the themes of your life in nice tidy packages. In the first draft that I gave my agent, she harped a lot on the beginning of the book and the motives for my travels and I spent months thinking about this and rewriting. It took a lot of soul-searching to realize that it was my parents’ decision to move to Honduras that inspired me. In the first draft of my book, their move to Honduras was chapter two and was simply a place I visited because I had a free ticket. But as I kept writing, I realized what a huge impact their move had had on my life and my worldview.

In a later draft, I opened the book with the Honduras chapter and used my parents as my motive for traveling; however, not even this was enough. I managed to sell the book to Crown, but in order to do it, they wanted to see yet a new introduction, one that explained my motives in a much tidier fashion. Hence, the hating my corporate job and quitting work to travel, which is true, but oversimplified. I really did fantasize about leaving that job to hop on the next international flight, but in the book, I took liberties with time – in real life, I left this corporate job two years before I actually visited Honduras.

(3) Look back and find the themes in your travels. When I first started my book, I was writing at the same time I was traveling. In other words, the first draft read like a diary: today I did this, the next day I did this, then I went here. Granted, the writing was funny and interesting, but when my agent read it, she said it got kind of boring after a while because as a reader, you want a full story that has a beginning, middle and end. What makes a diary feel boring after a while is that it has no theme. When you write your daily entry, you have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow so there’s no foreshadowing, no long-term aspiration toward a single goal. It’s impossible to pick out the themes of your life while you’re in the middle of it. You can only look back at what the themes of your life have been.

So after my travels had been completed, I had to go back and figure out what I had been searching for. Why did I really go to Lebanon? In the first draft, I wrote that I went because I had a free place to stay and it sounded like a crazy place to visit.

But as I sat down to rewrite, I realized that Lebanon really was a continuation of my desire to experience a new carefree approach to life. In the introduction of my book, I had already established my fantasies of leaving my job to travel; in chapter one, I extended this theme, showing how my parents taught me that such a thing is really possible. And in chapter three, I realized that I needed to extend this search for irresponsibility, which was very simple to do. After all, my whole life it had been Peter who had been trying to get me to lighten up and take life less seriously. So when he suggests that I visit him in Beirut, for once I decide to give in to his advice.

When you think in terms of theme, you give a reader a reason to root for you. A protagonist who merely stumbles across the meaning of life is not nearly as satisfying to a reader as a protagonist who searches everywhere for the meaning of life and finally discovers it.

Now that I’ve said all this, I hope it doesn’t sound like my book was untruthful, that I was deliberately seeking out themes that weren’t there. These themes really were part of my life all along; it wasn’t a matter of inventing them. The challenge in writing the book was PICKING OUT the strongest themes. Because real life is more complicated than literature. My real life story has far too many themes to cover in one book so I had to simplify. I had to choose the path that seemed to best tell the story. I could have written an entirely different book and still been truthful. I was forced to make creative decisions about the nature of the story I wanted to tell.

Some places to get started

Traveler’s Tales (www.travelerstales.com) is a small publisher devoted exclusively to publishing travel literature. They haven’t been very receptive about my own work because I violate the rules of travel writing all the time (my book is edgy and irreverent and I don’t dwell much on scenic description). However, if you have a traditional tale, this may be just the place for you. Another great thing about this publisher is that they accept on-line submissions for their anthologies, meaning that you don’t have to have completed an entire book to see your story in print.

Lonely Planet (www.lonelyplanet.com) has always been one of my favorite guidebook publishers, and they also have a Journeys imprint that publishes travel writing. However, their list is extremely short and I’ve gotten the sense (perhaps erroneously) that they prefer to work with Australian writers, where their headquarters are based. I got an extremely nice and apologetic letter TWO YEARS after I submitted to them, explaining how very few travel narratives they publish each year. Trying to get published with them is a real longshot, but you should still definitely buy their guidebooks! I’ve made contact with them several times and they’ve always struck me as nice and competent folk.

A NOTE ABOUT DEALING WITH THE “BIG GUYS”

If you want to get published by one of the major publishers like Random House or Simon & Shuster, you have to have an agent. These houses won’t even open a letter from you. Anything has to come from an agent whose name they recognize.

However, if you do get an agent, the good news is that there are imprints of the big houses devoted to publishing travel literature. Crown Journeys is devoted exclusively to this as is Vintage Departures (both are Random House) and there are many others (names to come at a later date).

When I get a little more time, I’ll add some listings of agents who consider travel literature. Check back soon.

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